My how long it has been since I have seen you, your uniform illuminating the room, and the man wearing it, my heart with love? You continue to enchant me even though you are so far away. When I drift to sleep I am embarrassed to say that my mind is overtaken by impure thoughts in the form of dreams. I wake from these feeling as though I have stayed with you and am saddened when I come to the realization that it is not true.
It has been hard fending off the hands of other suitors, but you are the only one to hold my heart. I can still feel the warmth in my hand from our last day together. We sat in silence by the lake watching the swans fly away from us. When I started to cry, you told me that it would all be all right and that you would return for me. It has been five years, and I have thought about you ever since that day.
I write to you now to apologize. I was being honest when I said that you are the only one to hold my heart. That will forever be true. If you ever should return, I will be yours. Now, though, I need to consider my family name and social status. I am a 23-year-old woman and will become an oddity if I do not marry soon. As the daughter of a wealthy southerner, I must marry a man of the same status. For you, and only you, I would give that up. My family may disown me but I would prefer to be entangled in your arms than to live with somebody else—knowing I could have you, Jay.
I am sorry, though to announce that this will be my last letter. One suitor, by the name of Tom, Buchannan has offered to me his hand in marriage. He does not hold my heart, but I love him. I will care for him and he will show me off as husbands and wives do. He is wealthy and will provide for me, as husbands should. He surprised me with a necklace that is almost as stunning as you have been. The necklace is a string of pearls valued at $350,000. Tom is a good man, and his wealth and name will permit acceptance from my family. I do not doubt that I can live comfortably with him, as long as you are as I presume you to be.
I wish so much to hold your hand just once more or to know of your family so that I may visit and find you alive, well, healthy, enjoying an ice cream in town. I know that I cannot have this, but I desire to, Jay. Your eyes and smile haunt my dreams and memories and, even though I will be married to another man, I will always be yours.
If this letter should ever reach you, and if you should ever return, know that I will be waiting. I will be waiting in the large white house in East Egg ,where I have a water view, in which I will live following my marriage. I can stare everyday into the water and remember your eyes. I can remember the safety and comfort that they brought. I will now be Tom’s, but in my thoughts and dreams, I am yours.